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paddythebamf
Seems David's and James's attempt at a reunion last night didn't go too well.  Nobody's heard from David since.  I've spent the night driving round London searching people's allotments for cabbage patches.

Unfortunately, there are a hell of a lot of allotments in London.

When I find him, I'm going to hug the living daylights out of him, I don't care what he says kill him. And then I'm going to use my new rocket launcher to blow up his house.
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He told me he's gone to Sarah's.

Please direct your rocket launcher at, say, George Osborne's house. I'm sure it will give you much more satisfaction, and won't, you know, destroy my house

Well, that's a relief. I suppose I'll have to let him live after all.

Oh, don't get worked up about it--it's just an old man's little joke. Your house is safe for now.

You're as young as the man you feel, Paddy.

Which in your case makes you forty-four.

Oh really? You'd better be joking, young Nick, or Jane'll have your balls for earrings.

OOC: Sorry, anon. I'm afraid I'm just not that type of RPer.

You destroy either of my houses and I'll kill you, Ashdown. Don't know how, but I will, even if it's a suicidal mission.

Oh aye? Good luck with that, lad.

I'll claim you were bullying me because of my sexual orientation.

I may not be as military orientated as you, but I've spent the last nine years of my life having anger issues and plotting the deaths of various Labour and Conservative MPs. I am imaginative.

Well, you've just made your first mistake in telling me your intentions. Though I'm sure you can keep me on my toes.

...

Fine. It's a good thing conscription ended before I was born, isn't it?

Can I stay in your cabbage patch again tonight?

Oh, you'd have been safe from conscription. They did have a height requirement, you know.

Perhaps I should let him try. I could do with a workout and it might make him feel better.

Did it? They didn't teach me that in history!

I'd be good at reacting to "Don't Ask Don't Tell" at the very least.

Also, the cabbage patch was one time.

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